Back to School 2020 – A Parent’s Guide on How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Trafficking and Exploitation (Part 1 of 2)

July 22-Back to School Photo Kricia Romero.jpg

Raise your hand if you want to protect your child from sexual predators. Ah yes, I see a lot of hands up. I’d be worried if there weren’t. Whether your child will be attending class in person or online this Fall it’s important as parents that we share age-appropriate information with our kids. No, it’s not too early! Even if your child is starting Pre-School or Kindergarten there are ways to educate your child in a way he/she will understand. If we wait too long, they could learn a distorted view of sexuality from strangers and/or even predators. Our children need us to protect them as best as we can. Let’s not fail them.

“Sex trafficking and sexual exploitation of children are horrific epidemics and ones we never want to personally affect our children.” - Christy Ivie, founder of Christy’s Cause, a cause created to eradicate child sex trafficking and exploitation through education, public awareness, restoration projects and justice initiatives.

In 2018, the National Human Trafficking Hotline, and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s Cyber Tip Line received over 18.4 million reports related to child sexual abuse images, online enticement, sextortion, child sex trafficking and child sexual molestation. Now is the time to be serious about engaging in age-appropriate conversations in order to educate and protect our children. Awareness plays a significant role in prevention and intervention, and providing our children with accurate information is essential.

Giving a child an electronic device without any restrictions or having a discussion about what they may encounter while being online is one of the worst things a parent can do. Why? It may seem harmless, right? Wrong. It’s crucial that you take an active role in monitoring what they do and how much time they spend on any electronic device. Unfortunately, at some point your child will eventually be exposed to harmful consequences by an online predator, cyber bullying, sextortion or lewd content. “Electronic devices provide 24-hour access to your child, and many times a child is being exploited in the ‘safety of their own home’ while parents are present and completely unaware.”

Ok parents, here’s your homework assignment:

Talk to your kids about “safe” and “unsafe” touching. “A good example of this is teaching them that no one should touch them in any area that their bathing suit covers and that they should never touch anyone else in these areas or see pictures or movies that show these areas.” Yes, you can discuss body safety without discussing sexuality. Just use age-appropriate wording. An excellent resource for this is a children’s book called, “The Swimsuit Lesson” by Jon Holsten, a long time police officer and school resource officer, now retired.
Teach them the difference between healthy and unhealthy secrets. An example of this would be telling them that a surprise party is a safe secret because it makes people happy and they will be told at a specific time. Secret touching is never OK. It is important to develop open communication with your kids by creating environments where they feel safe, vulnerable and without judgement.
Teach your kids proper body part names. Kids who know the correct names for their body parts have been educated and are usually aware of safe and unsafe touch, which could be a deterrent to a potential predator. The best way to prepare your kids is to teach them to trust their instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is. It is essential to talk to them about strangers! PLEASE do not leave them alone with unknown adults, and remember kids should always travel in groups, as there is safety in numbers (ie: walking to/from home/school).
Teach your child to never to give any personal information, never answer questions such as birthdate, address or social security number. Social Security Numbers are more likely with older kids/students, especially those who have after school jobs. Teach them their SSN is not to be given freely.
In an effort to better monitor your kids, place computers in a common area, not their bedrooms. Validate the chat sites your pre-teens and teens want to log into as most are not appropriate. If you do allow your child to go to chat sites know which sites they are on and investigate the conversation threads as many sites that sound safe, aren’t. This goes for apps as well.
Teach your teens not to overshare. What seems harmless between friends can sometimes end up pinpointing their location, pattern of behavior, or potential vulnerabilities to a predator. It’s important to know that most cases of exploitation do not occur through a stranger abduction. As a rule, most victims meet their offender online and engage in numerous chats with them over a period of time and are then duped into “willingly” leaving their homes to meet them (predator) and/or self-produce lewd content.
Never allow your child to be behind locked doors with a device as these are the most common locations where self-produced child sex abuse imagery occurs. Many cases occur at night while the child is alone in their room (and or bathroom) with their device.
It’s always wise to use parental protections on all of your child’s devices, including desktop and laptop computers. Apple devices have protection applications located under “Screen Time” in settings. Android devices have “Family Link.” Aside from these just mentioned, there are countless other parental protection apps that can restrict access to obscene websites, set screen limits as well as locate your child’s device.

“According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, stranger abductions are rare. About 115 children per year in the U.S. are victims of stranger kidnappings. Younger children are less likely to be targeted by strangers than teenagers. This is why it is important to discuss good touch/bad touch with your children. Most child abuse and sex abuse cases are committed by someone close to the child, like a family member or close friend of the family, not a stranger.”

It’s a good idea to lock your child’s ability to delete applications, change location sharing settings, and/or change the device or account passcodes without the parent passcode. Also, set time restrictions so that the device locks all apps at night while they are sleeping except for emergency phone calls.

“Most importantly, have a conversation with your child about what to do if they encounter things online that make them feel sad, scared, or are not appropriate. You can tell them mistakes happen but you will fix them together, so they don’t feel judged. If they think you will react negatively, they might not disclose what occurred and this could be dangerous to them. There’s no foolproof way to prevent your child from being exposed to dangers if they are accessing the internet, so make sure they make the right decision if it happens.” – Christy Ivie

If you are or believe you have identified someone in a trafficking situation, you can take action. Call 911 immediately to notify local law enforcement. You may also call the human trafficking hotlines in Canada and the United States by dialling the numbers below. Both hotlines are open 24/7/365 days of the year and provide services in over 200 languages.