The Free-Them Blog

So last month I wrote about a little bit of, Now What! Funny that theme often resurfaces. If I step back I can clearly see its about revisiting my traumatic past, therapy was a great friend during this process for me, as was journaling/writing out the anxiety pain and damage I had experienced. Now feeling somewhat whole, after licking my wounds it was time to Create a healthy life for myself. I still had to deal with my addiction recovery and found ample support there as well as a sponsor whom is still a trusted friend today over 20 years later. I started to develop real friendships though not all close ones but it was a process of building a tribe for myself, with those who understand and can relate to some of my experiences.

I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know how to be. There was a spark deep within that ached to be released but I carried so much pain and confusion. Muddy waters, like quicksand I realized the more I struggled the more I sank, learning to embrace it all and move on, great but how the hell does one do that when most of the world just didn’t understand. I knew somehow that this is not the way the human race was supposed to be like. I knew there was another side of life but I had no idea how to get there.

I grew up with the message that a women’s role was to cater to men. And someone like me, had less options because I was less appealing. So when a groomer smelled that I was prime meat. Our sole purpose was to appease men and bring home the money, everything rotated around that even from a young young age. I had this feeling that we were nothing without a man present.

The control I lost, the control I truly never really had. It was easy to groom, to control someone like me, as it was plain to see I was already broken and hurting. But grooming can happen to any age; teen or pre teen, even grown ups still get caught up in the woven web of deceit.